A Letter to the U of Michigan Football Team
Dear Coach Carr and team:
Today you will be playing your third game of the season. Since things haven’t been going so well and as the wife of a lifetime fan of your team I thought I would offer you some pointers.
1. When you line up on offense watch for the blitz. It will happen at some point in the game, it always does.
2. If you are on the offensive line…the guy behind you is the quarter back and his job is to get the ball to a receiver or runningback so you can score. He can’t do this if he is on his backside counting the birds flying around his head. BLOCK!!!
3. You only get 4 chances to gain 10yards. I repeat only 4 chances.
4. If you are a receiver or a running back and you get the ball (that brown odd shaped thing) you need to run as fast as your legs will carry you to the end zone. You know, that wide open space behind the 1yard line??
5.To the quarterback…your teammates will be wearing maize and blue. Do not throw it to the guys in white and wearing gold helmets.
6. Defensive line….the guy behind their center is their quarterback…SACK him.
7. Special teams….when you catch the ball and decide to return it, run down the field where there isn’t anyone. It makes absolutely no sense to me when you guys run up the middle where all the linemen are when to your left or right the field is clear.
8. Last but not least if you have to kick to win the game please, please, please, block the guy who can jump.
wife to one who bleeds blue