I am doing better. Thank you to everyone who has been thinking of me, praying for me, loving me and being patient with me as I walk through this.
Today I have to go out and shop for all of our kids. Yes, I’m nuts but we didn’t have any money to do so until this weekend. So I am hoping to find a cool toy store in the area that has some unique games for CC, wooden toys of some kind for the littles and as far are Aly goes well, she should be covered with my trip to Target.
We have been introduced to the world of webkins. Some friends of CC’s gave her a penguin and so now Aly has asked for a husky. Shhhh, don’t tell but I found one yesterday at the Cracker Barrell store.
I need to come up with some things to get Jorry. He wants a book and some slippers. I have asked the man what else he wants and he just draws a blank.
Ok, off to find some clothes because I can’t shop in my pajamas.
I had great intentions of starting some new traditions and completing some fun projects this year and it just hasn’t happened. Partly because of finances but mostly because I have not been doing as well as I thought I was.
The depression snuck in without me realizing it.
Memories of my dad come without warning and the tears flow too.
Trying to be strong for my girls.
Tired of not being able to just grieve without questions from little people.
Emi talked about him a lot yesterday because we were at the ER with Ace.
She wants to go to his house to see him.
She can’t and there is no understanding that at 3.
We were going in with my brother to get him a grill.
Now I can’t watch a stupid home depot commercial without getting upset.
I find myself in a club of thoses who lost a loved one to cancer and I never asked for membership.
I HATE this, do you hear me, I HATE THIS!
IT’S WRONG, IT’S NOT FAIR, IT HURTS LIKE HELL AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WHY!!!
Why isn’t he here so I can call him on Christmas day, why isn’t he here so he can enjoy the babies?
He didn’t deserve to die the way that he did.
He just didn’t.
Quick, if you had only one choice when it comes to knitting books and you were still a beginner knitter what book would you ask for for Christmas? I am a fast learner but I need one with good pictures.
Wednesday morning we woke to about 3in of snow.
It was Emi’s first experience with snow. She took 30minutes to get dressed and spent 10minutes outside!
I have spent the last couple of days finishing my niece’s scarf and last night I found a pattern on line here , for a doll’s hat. I started it before I went to bed and promptly woke up at midnight unable to sleep so I went out to the livingroom, put in Ocean’s 13 and knitted my first ever doll’s hat. It went super fast and it turned out pretty cute if I do say so myself. Thanks to Deb for the yarn!!
I am working on the second of what will be four hats for the girls’ dolls. I hope to have scarves for them as well.
Next entry I will show you the puppets I made for Emi’s birthday and a couple of the bean bags I have done for Ace’s Christmas. I am off to knit some more and find time to get packed for our first Christmas get together. Have a great weekend everyone!!