Parenting is hard

And to be quite honest it really sucked yesterday. I have wonderful children, I know this. However that does not mean that things are always great. If you are a parent and reading this then I am preaching to the choir.

The first part of the day was just fine. The bigs were invited to swim at a friends house so they were gone until 5pm. The littles and I had some good mommy and little time. We played with a big floor puzzle, I folded some diapers while I watched and noticed that Emi has really started to use her imagination which is really cool.

Then in the span of 15min, after the arrival of the almost 13yo the bottom fell out. I won’t detail things, just suffice it to say that she was on an emotional roller coaster ride that was devoid of caring about how her actions effected others and unfortunately against the advice of Old Hat I joined her on the roller coaster ride thinking…wait scratch that because if I was thinking I would have NEVER gotten on the emotional roller coaster ride with her. I would have just gotten some cotton candy and walked away.

You know that emoticon with the red smilie head banging its head against a brick wall? I honestly think I need a wall like that that will just inflate Inspector Gadget style anytime I need it. I would have used it yesterday.

I chose to stay mad a long time last night which didn’t help. Yes I know, I am the adult but sometimes I don’t wanna be!! Of course staying mad was not helpful and then I spiraled into missing my dad, feeling helpless to parent and being bummed that even though I have done everything so differently from how I was raised I still feel like I am treading water. I wonder what my dad was thinking while he was watching my emotional(but quiet) melt down?

So today has to be better because I am choosing for it to be better. I did go to the library with her last night and she apologized and I accepted but I still pouted. I see you shaking your head…I’m just being honest here. I have to learn not to get on the roller coaster with her but I really have no clue how to do that. It requires being able to disconnect from the moment and not let my big emotions get caught up in hers. I have to learn to not take her personally but I have no clue how to do that. I have to fight with every fiber of my being to walk away and say nothing when I just want to scream because her words and actions have hurt me so.

<SIGH>

Ok back to today has to be better….It will be, it’s a choice and even though this is hard I will survive. We will make it through to the other side and we will both be alive.

LIVE LAUGH LOVE

(saying it over and over and over)

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9 thoughts on “Parenting is hard

  1. This sounds so much like my night…only I am the big loser because my daughter is not a tween-ager and hormonal yet. I had to go for a walk to cool off and Brandon locked the kids in the house watching Peter Pan and chased me down. I just said, “Why does she get to me so much more than the boys?” I feel like I have such patience with them. But Abby is so spacey and doesn’t think about stuff before she does it. (She got hot pink fingernail polish on our semi-new couch.) Anyway, I fussed at her until I made her cry…beyond reasonable…and then felt like such a loser mom and then it spiraled into depressing thoughts about my lousy parenting skills and B not having a job yet and the state of my spiritual walk and on and on. All that to say, do you think God understands (and we should too) that we are unbelievably HORMONAL right now? I mean, I don’t want to use that as an excuse, but I can’t help but think that has a little to do with it! Praying for you!

  2. @dancinmomma – You aren’t a loser mom! Yes, hormones are playing a HUGE part in how we are handling these things but it still stinks none the less. Oh and we have white finger nail polish on our couch…guess which one did that?? I don’t think it matters that Abby isn’t a tween/teen I have danced this dance with Aly for a while now. Maybe it’s her being the first born and unreal expectations on my part I don’t know. Some days I just want to fast forward to the part where we are laughing about the nail polish and she and I appreciate one another.

  3. Being a Daddy, I think I can tell you what your Daddy was thinking of you last night.
    “I love that girl of mine! Look at all that passion! She cares about her children so very much and she is not afraid to show it. Her girls are going to be so much better at showing and sharing their emotions because of that. I am so proud of my baby.”
    You are a wonderful Mommy, JoAnn. Don’t let the Aly-oops or the wrestlisng with Aly-gators get you down.
    You are doing a good job.
    Daddy Hat

  4. Thanks for your comment! Now that I’m a mom, I’m really enjoying reading other mom’s blogs. Hang in there…teenagers are tough!

  5. You are doing an amazing job! One thing that I noticed is that your daughter apologized! on the same day! That is awesome. There are so many adults (myself included) who either have a really hard time doing that, or can’t do it at all… that in itself is a testament to the job you are doing. Be kind to yourself and patient. You are with your children.

  6. We had a rough day yesterday, too.  Hang in there, mama!  Even though it may feel like you’re doing everything wrong, you are doing so much right!  Your girls will grow up to be so compassionate and caring, and resolute because of you!

  7. Just want you to know I totally understand. Yes we have to choose to make it better and choose not to react, it is hard somedays. My daughter is 8 and she is so emotional, I just have to keep trying. Hang in there!

  8. Thanks for sharing, it helps to know that we all do this sometimes. I have my own adult tantrums and ride that coaster with Raya all the time. I hope today was sweeter!

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