Meltdown leads to eating at Mcdonalds

Which leads to feeling lousy about 40minutes after I ate my two cheeseburgers, fries and drank my sweet tea. Nothing like making sure this baby will weigh 9lbs!!

Seriously though I need all of the prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes or whatever else anyone subscribes to in wanting good things for their friends. I felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown yesterday, ALL day long. Everything bothered me and it felt way beyond the normal “I’m at the end of this pregnancy and need to have this baby.” feelings. It was intense and it scared the crap out of me.

Jennifer, I am so very sorry that I called you back. I should have waited until I was in a better state of mind.

If you have my phone numbers I suggest not calling me for a while. Unless of course you like to listen to large pregnant women wail and lament about the current break down in their mental stability.

Friday was awesome. Anna gave me a wonderful massage and she cleaned my kitchen and the living room. Her kids played with the littles which freed me up to just be.

Sadly I find that I do better if I have another adult here with me. If it is just me I feel overwhelmed by all that I need to do to keep up with the littles and I just shut down.

SiSi was an awesome help yesterday while Aly and her dad were at work and then out on their date.

I still failed miserably in being patient with the littles and with just accepting things as they were. Once Jorry and Aly were back I let him know how overwhelmed I felt and he took over the kitchen while the bigs and I tackled the livingroom and I got some of the laundry folded and put away. The closer to delivery I get the more overwhelmed I am by the messes. When I am not pregnant they don’t bother me to the capacity that they do. I need to birth in calm and if my house is a mess I-am-not-calm.

I know I won’t be pregnant forever. I just feel helpless to be the mom I need to be because I can’t move quickly and moving quickly is required when you are parenting a 3yo and a 1yo and your big girls aren’t always available to help you. My energy level is low and I know it’s more mental than anything. I just can’t find the motivation to move off of the couch and get things done, it all just feels like too much and then I know that as soon I get something accomplished in one place someone else has destroyed another place.

I would like to get through today without crying,yelling,griping,or feeling overwhelmed.

I would also like to give birth but I don’t think that is going to happen until I reach a state of serenity.

Come on serenity!!

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5 thoughts on “Meltdown leads to eating at Mcdonalds

  1. not that t helps, but I get to that point of break down a lot… and I only have two kids. *blush*what helps me? getting sleep. but.. my 3 yr old still doesn’t sleep thru the night b/c of night terrors (she’s not actually awake so I can’t even convince her to stop it) and I’m exhausted. also staying away from caffiene as much as possible and it increases my intense irritability. and cod liver oil (double dose!) and chamomile tea and vitamin B help me calm.have you also considered that babies don’t like to be born into stressful environments, and perhaps what you are feeling is a conflicted mess of emotions like that? maybe that protective feeling is being turned into irritability and all that you find stressful (and let’s face it, no matter how much you adore your children they are stressful!) you want the baby to be born so much, but you’re so stressed out by the current state you can’t imagine birthing another and making it harder?I think you mentioned you pray and read your bible? during times like this when I find my emotions and mental stability seem to come unhinged and I feel I can’t seem to get ahead of it, I realize that it’s actually my spirit that needs refreshing and much attention (as the spirit is the foundation of both mental and physical) perhaps if you address your spirit the other stuff will start to fall into place? in our modern world we put much emphasis on eating right and taking care of one’s mental needs but rarely talk of the spiritual ones. this makes us all out of balance.(well, maybe I’m not right at all, so just ignore me if that’s the case!!)((hugs))

  2. Aw sorry Jo Ann I know it’s rough at the end of pregnancy but you also have 2 toddlers, wow!
    I hope you can find someone to come over a few hours each day so you can get a break. Maybe you are nesting, I always nested before having my babies, of course it didn’t make them come any faster.
    Hang in there!

  3. Man, I know that McDonalds blah feeling — it sounds so good and then later you feel so bad! But at least you have a good reason/excuse! Between being pregnant and the hormones, and having two little kids… it must be hard. Keep hanging in there!

  4. See if this helps (not with the messes of course) Every morning wake up and say to your little one, “Will this be the day I meet you outside or will I get to hold onto the most intense closeness I will ever feel with another human being having you inside me, our hearts beating together for one more day?”As for messes I every once in a while get overly irritable about them in my house and I do not have a baby inside me making me tired! I ask everyone if we can each pick a room and do a quick clean up. I know yours are really little but maybe they can get a laundry basket and fill it with anything that is on the floor while playing music in the back ground or even better play freeze dance in that they dance and clean at the same time and then freeze and start again with the music.

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