A Letter of Apology to the Pioneer Woman

Dear Ree,

You do not know me but I stalk read your blog daily and have on occasion left a comment. A day or so ago you shared 4 of your favorite soup recipes. I LOVE soup. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the process of making it, the aroma’s the come forth as it is simmering on the stove or maybe it’s just because when I fix soup for supper there are less dishes to do. As soon as I saw the cauliflower soup recipe I added cauliflower to my grocery list. In fact I added ingredients from all the soup recipes because as luck life would have it I was going grocery shopping the next day.

As I tucked the cauliflower away in the frig yesterday I envisioned my soup making escapade I had planned for the next day. After all I was totally inspired by your post with all it’s beautiful pictures and it’s wonderful narration of each step. It was going to be beautiful.

Of course this is my life and with five kids, three of them 5yo and under running around nothing goes quite like I envision it….EVER.

First I didn’t have my camera. It’s in the van where I left it after a trip to the local antique store. And since it is cold enough to freeze parts that should never be frozen,and my older girls weren’t awake to send outside, I let my picture taking idea fade. No worries I thought, I will press on.

All of the dicing and chopping went well. The butter was melting beautifully in my new dutch oven and I was feeling rather proud of myself since I had, so far, made no mistakes. That is until I put the celery in before I put the onion in. No big deal I thought it will be ok. While the onion and celery were browning I finished up the rough chopping of the cauliflower. Then as the instructions said I put the cauliflower in the pot,covered it and set the timer for it to cook 15mins. At that moment someone needed me for something and figuring I had time I walked away from the stove.

Eight minutes later I’m back. I know it’s been eight minutes because the timer on the microwave read 7:00. All is well until I reread the directions again. Apparently I was supposed to turn the heat down very low. When onions,cauliflower, celery and fresh parsley cook together on high they can become a dark color which is not the color you want them to be. If they are dark in color they also have this not so good burnt taste. Not the good burned marshmallow taste but the bad burnt toast taste. I’m sure you have no clue what I am talking about because I am pretty sure that anyone that has a cookbook has not ever burned anything, much less cauliflower,onions, celery and parsley.

Anyway, I didn’t feel that all was lost yet. I turned down the heat and continued on my way without any other mishaps. Although I’m thinking now that maybe another mishap would have improved the soup or at the very least given me good cause to just dump the whole pot down the drain. Once the milk mixture was added I knew that there was no way that I could look at this soup and see it as beautiful. There was no creamy whiteness to it, just this muddy brown color. Still, on I went. I added the salt, let it simmer a few more minutes and then ladled some into my bowl. It didn’t taste terrible, I had had worse. It definitely improved a bunch when I added a ladle spoon full of sour cream to it. I knew I was going to be the only one eating this soup though…not even my 5yo who eats everything I make liked it. 

So, my apologies. Here you are in all your wonderfulness sharing your childhood recipes for us in cyberspace to make and share with our families and I go and make a brown, burnt toast tasting mess of it. I would like to say that I won’t do it again but I can’t. I know I will try to make this again, to redeem myself, and it may or may not turn out. Until then I will put the left overs in freezer bags and try to forget about this disaster.


JoAnn(future author of disasters in the kitchen)

p.s. Pet Charlie for me! 🙂 


5 thoughts on “A Letter of Apology to the Pioneer Woman

  1. My bride loves soup and cauliflower. I may or may not tell her about this recipe. I do not like cauliflower at all and soup is not always my favorite meal anyway. But don;t tell her I said so. We have it pretty often. =)Thank you for bringing me laughter, sweetheart.Daddy hat

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